This exercise assesses the quality and level of support in your life in three major networks: family, friends, and work.

Read each statement and write down the number that best describes how true each statement is for you, as you are feeling now.*

I. Family (Intimate) Support

1. My family (or intimate friends) take time for me when I need it.

2. My family (or intimate friends) understands when I am upset, and responds to me.

3. I feel accepted and loved by my family.

4. My family allows me to do new things and make changes in my life.

5. My spouse (or partner) accepts my career choices.

6. My family gives me as much as I give them.

7. My family expresses caring and affection to me, and responds to my feelings, such as my anger,

sorrow, and love.

8. The quality of the time I spend with my family is high.

9. I feel close and in touch with my family.

10. I am able to give what I would like to my family.

11. I feel I am important to the people in my family.

12. I feel that I am honest to the people in my family, and that they are honest with me.

13. I can ask the people in my family for help when I need it.

*A score of 20 or more indicates that you feel a high level of support from your family (or intimate) network.

Read each statement and write down the number that best describes how true each statement is for you, as you are feeling now.*

II. Friendship Support

1. I usually place the needs of others above my own.

2. I feel I give more than I get from other people.

3. I find it difficult to share my feelings with other people.

4. I am not able to give what I would like to other people.

5. I don’t feel cared for or valued by the people around me.

6. I usually can’t find people to spend time with when I want to.

7. I am often lonely and alone.

8. I find it hard to ask for what I want.

9. I don’t usually feel close to other people.

10. There are few people I can really count on.

11. Few people know me very well.

12. People don’t seem to want to get to know me.

13. I tend to hide my sexuality, or feel uncertain about it.

14. I find it hard to touch other people.

15. Other people rarely touch or hug me.

16. I find it hard to askother people for help.

17. I am always doing things for other people.

18. People rarely help me.

19. When it comes down to it, I feel that I am basically on my own.

20. I have few friends or people I am close to.

21. I don’t like to spend time with other people.

22. I feel distant and apart from other people.

23. I don’t expect much from people.

*A score above 25 indicates that you have weakness in your personal support system and need to take steps to make the relationships you have deeper and more supportive, or to make new and more supportive friendships.

Note: These statements are phrased in negative terms. So in this case, if you have a higher score, you have a less supportive network of friends and acquaintances.

Read each statement and write down the number that best describes how true each statement is for you, as you are feeling now.*

III. Work Support

1. When I run into trouble, there are co-workers I can seek out for help.

2. The people around me care about me as a person.

3. I feel I can question and negotiate with supervisors about work assignments.

4. I am clear about what I am to do and what others expect from me.

5. I am not usually afraid that co-workers are critical of me behind my back.

6. People at work are more concerned about getting things done than about competing among themselves.

7. There are people I talk to each day informally.

8. I feel my abilities are valued by others at work.

9. Information is shared freely among people who should know things.

10. When I can’t do something on my own, I can take my problems to others and they will help.

11. I can ask for guidance and help from superiors.

12. The climate of my workplace is pleasant and comfortable.

13. When people are upset about something at work, it is usually talked about.

14. Many things about work are pleasant and enjoyable.

15. People are given what they need to complete the tasks they are assigned.

16. There are outlets to help me handle the frustrations and irritations of work.

*A score over 20 indicates a supportive work network and environment.

Note: Like the family support inventory, this assessment consists of positive statements.

How do you feel when you come home? Do you feel loved, safe, happy, protected, and calm? Do you feel angry, frustrated, unsafe, and on guard? Do you feel lonely, unaccepted, neglected, or ignored?

The first set of feelings helps your body and psyche relax after the demands and pressures of outside, while the other two response patterns inhibit your attempts to release the stress of the day, or trigger additional defensive stress responses.

To manage stress effectively and maintain balance in your life, one of the best resources is a household that is a safe refuge. Even living alone may be preferable to living in an embattled household, in terms of your stress level. Also, having people around you to whom you can turn to share pressures, fears, and struggles is helpful in coping with pressure that cannot be modified. Both friends and family can perform this function.

The support and help from your family, or from the people closest to you in your everyday life, take several forms. There is help with tasks and meeting the day’s demands – errands, housework, child care, and financial support. There is also support in having someone to talk to and share things with, for emotional release as well as helpful suggestions and opportunity to reflect on one’s life difficulties. There is the knowledge that somebody accepts you as you are and cares for you. And finally, there is the support of having someone to do things with, to share hobbies, leisure activities and have fun with.

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